In an announcement that has shocked the nation, former First Lady Hillary Clinton has retired from politics to open her dream cafe, The Blue Waffle. The cozy little eatery located in Chappaqua, New York will be Hillary’s first venture into restaurant ownership. Naturally, the themed restaurant will cater specifically to Clinton’s Democratic base.

“This has always been a dream of mine,” remarked Clinton at the cafe’s grand opening ceremony. “Finally, my dream is a reality. The Blue Waffle is open for business!”

Hillary Clinton Announces Grand Opening of The Blue Waffle
Clinton Announces Grand Opening of Blue Waffle

The restaurant is set to be the hottest new hangout for moderate Democrats in New York. “Not only do we cater to the blue crew, we’re specifically aiming for women as well,” said Clinton. “And we’re not stopping there! If things go as planned, I’ve got ambitions to spread The Blue Waffle all over the nation.”

As always, Hillary’s constituents were quick to place their support behind her. “That name is so catchy,” said Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. “I absolutely love it. Something about it just gives me a nice, warm feeling. And Hillary’s idea for a slogan – Feel the Burn… genius!”

Vermont senator and 2020 presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders chimed in as well. “Is this bitch for real?” remarked Sanders.

Hillary Clinton's Signature Blue Waffle
Hillary’s Signature Blue Waffle

In her official statement, Mrs. Clinton noted that she would be cooking and providing personal recipes for the restaurant. Not surprisingly, she was absolutely ecstatic about the menu offerings. “I can’t wait for you to taste my signature Blue Waffle,” said Clinton. “And make sure to try it with a dollop of my creme fraiche secret sauce.”

Representatives from MatterHorn tasted Hillary’s blue waffle platter, and we have to say it was surprisingly delicious. Naturally, we’d like to congratulate Mrs. Clinton on her new foray into restaurant ownership. We’re sure this cafe will be a huge success. Democrats all over the country will absolutely gush with pleasure after experiencing the delicious cuisine and the inviting environment that Hillary Clinton’s Blue Waffle has to offer!